I woke up then fell asleep again. Wednesday, May 7, 2025 11:54 AM

I woke up then fell asleep again.

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

11:54 AM

It's always so.

When I wake up then fall asleep in this way in the morning, it's always hard to get up again.

 

I seem to fall into a heavy mode of sleep and it's murky and arduous to try to get up.

 

Humans….when you experience a failure of a sort, it's easier to break down into your more evil self. Sometimes simply more malice towards others lifts its head and you start miring into doubts about your meaning well at the same time. It's where self control and not belief about your own natural goodness but more of your human tendency to feel what you do at moments and that it passes can draw you out into the more bright outlooks and aspects of you and your life for that now.

 

I mean to start writing private diaries again

And put out one or two meaningful works on tistory.

 

It's my only platform at the moment and its value incalculable.

 

I almost lost this platform last year when I lost my password.

Things were straightened up and I was so so so relieved.

 

It I lose this platform then I have nothing to work for and nothing to work at concerning my writing.

 

I had meant to make another platform but this didn't fall out.

 

 

Writing.

 

Dad doesn't seem to oppose it.

He is for it rather.

He has trust in me and my ability to write to some extent.

 

 

I have opened up myself and my private life for a long time now.

Maybe it's time to close myself up again and share works rather than life now.

 

They know my background, where I come from, what the basis of my thoughts are and so forth.

No need maybe for extra information

It gets redundant after a while.

 

 

 

God wants me to visit a furniture shop and buy a desk.

They've got a real good deal.

 

 

 

I have to give some thoughts as to what I want to put up on tistory for today.

 

 

I want to do some proper writing and I wish to improve my writing with time and effort.

 

 

I cough.

Maybe it's the dust from the chicken houses.

Like dad says it's not cold.

 

 

 

It's fun writing things down.

 

 

 

I should organize my thoughts about my future and my stance and behavior a little.

 

Rayshines님 had put up a thoughtful writing today in his blog.

It was about how it's not quite right to ask consolation from someone who hurt you.

I had given it some thought and the thought did occur to me but I was impulsively driven or I drove myself nuts and asked consolation from mom quite often.

I felt it was not right.

But I felt I had no choice

Or maybe it was just because I had no control over myself.

 

 

I still don't think I would behave different if I start declining.

I would hang on dad with every ounce of me and that is not right.

 

 

I should learn to keep the pain to myself and work with it myself.

This is hard for me.

 

 

 

Tistory….it's a valuable platform.

Made with a lot of intents and love and care by a group of people.

I should appreciate and acknowledge its powerful meaning beneath.